Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Women: part one

I decided to start blogging again for several reasons.  First, I love to write and I learned in class last semester that good writing comes from a lot of writing.  Second, it's one way I organize my thoughts and ideas.  Lastly, writing just makes me happy.

I also turned 41 this year.  I'm not sure what I thought 41 would feel like.  Oddly enough, it doesn't feel a lot different that 35, 37, or 40.  But I have been thinking about what kind of woman I have been in the past, what kind of woman I am now, and the kind of woman I want to be in the future.

Early Thursday morning I had a dream about my Grandma Annie.  In my dream we were talking and she was cutting paper dolls out of newspapers for me.....like she always did.  Her face was so clear in my dream.  Like she was really there.  Upon waking, it took me several seconds to remember where I was.  I realized later in the day that I have been unbelievably blessed to be surrounded by strong, amazing women in my life.  My mother Barbara is the most influential woman in my life.  So many of my earliest memories involve her and I am so grateful that God gave her to me.  Or me to her.....however you look at it.  :)  I then think of the other women I've been surrounded by:  my Grandmothers Mae and Annie, my mother-in-law Ginger, Gano, Tammy, Laura, Lissa, Mel.  Each of these women have loved me at my best and my worst.  Each of these women have taught me something different.  Each of these women are strong, loyal, loving, HILARIOUS, and hold a special place for me.  But these aren't the only ones.....

The one who has faced brain surgery with humor, fierceness, and a continued love of life that is astounding.

The one who is facing fertility head-on with grace, faith, beauty, and strength.

The one who lost her father last year, but carries on daily with humor and love.

The one who lost her husband and son in a drunk driving crash, but gets up every day.

The one who faces heart disease every day when she wakes, but doesn't quit.

At times, I was annoyed at being a woman.  Of course, that's mainly because I would love to have been a safety for the 49ers like Ronnie Lott!  :)  I see now that it's a privilege and a blessing to be a woman.  Is it frustrating?  At times.  Is it hard work?  Good grief, yes.  Is it wonderful?  Yes.  I realize that strong women raise strong women.  Just as young men need strong, positive male role models, young women need faithful, strong, kind, loving, fierce, determined women in their lives.

I'm incredibly grateful for the women in my life:  past, present, and future.  For me the ultimate goal is to be the woman my God created me to be.  I think of the precious faces in my Sunday School class and center, and I am beginning to understand that He made me a woman for a reason.  I may not understand it at times, but He does.

He's driving.....I just need to get in the car.

xoxo

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